You’re not broken—just untrained. 

Let’s start with what no one told you when your world shattered:
You’ve been trying to heal using tools that were never meant to work. 

People told you to stay busy.
They told you to be strong.
They told you time would make it better.
But no one ever told you this: 

You can’t heal from what you won’t let yourself feel. 

That’s what this week’s episode of Healing Starts with the Heart is about—why pain isn’t the problem, it’s the path.
And why so many grievers stay stuck, not because they’re weak, but because they’ve been trained to avoid the one thing that could actually move the grief: the pain itself. 

 

You’re Managing Grief—Not Healing It 

Most people are performing their grief.
They’re showing up to work, smiling at dinner, posting polite updates on social media—while silently falling apart. 

They’ve been told that healing means looking okay.
But grief doesn’t care what you look like.
It cares what’s still unresolved inside you. 

And that unresolved pain? It doesn’t disappear.
It waits.
It leaks into everything else—your health, your sleep, your relationships, your sense of safety. 

 

Pain Is Not the Enemy 

Pain is the proof that something mattered.
It’s your nervous system saying,
“This meant something. And I’m still grieving the loss of it.” 

But we’re taught to hide it.
Push it down.
Numb it with productivity or positivity. 

So instead of letting the pain move through us, we trap it.
And then we wonder why we’re still exhausted two, five, even ten years later. 

You’re not stuck because you’re grieving wrong.
You’re stuck because you’ve been trying to skip the pain. 

 

What Healing Actually Looks Like 

Healing doesn’t mean you stop missing them.
It means you finally stop running from what hurts. 

It looks like naming what’s real.
Letting your body feel what it needs to feel.
Speaking what you’ve been holding back.
It means being honest—without apology. 

And most importantly, healing requires space.
Not silence. Not shame. Not You’re not broken—just untrained. 

Let’s start with what no one told you when your world shattered:
You’ve been trying to heal using tools that were never meant to work. 

People told you to stay busy.
They told you to be strong.
They told you time would make it better.
But no one ever told you this: 

You can’t heal from what you won’t let yourself feel. 

That’s what this week’s episode of Healing Starts with the Heart is about—why pain isn’t the problem, it’s the path.
And why so many grievers stay stuck, not because they’re weak, but because they’ve been trained to avoid the one thing that could actually move the grief: the pain itself. 

 

You’re Managing Grief—Not Healing It 

Most people are performing their grief.
They’re showing up to work, smiling at dinner, posting polite updates on social media—while silently falling apart. 

They’ve been told that healing means looking okay.
But grief doesn’t care what you look like.
It cares what’s still unresolved inside you. 

And that unresolved pain? It doesn’t disappear.
It waits.
It leaks into everything else—your health, your sleep, your relationships, your sense of safety. 

 

Pain Is Not the Enemy 

Pain is the proof that something mattered.
It’s your nervous system saying,
“This meant something. And I’m still grieving the loss of it.” 

But we’re taught to hide it.
Push it down.
Numb it with productivity or positivity. 

So instead of letting the pain move through us, we trap it.
And then we wonder why we’re still exhausted two, five, even ten years later. 

You’re not stuck because you’re grieving wrong.
You’re stuck because you’ve been trying to skip the pain. 

 

What Healing Actually Looks Like 

Healing doesn’t mean you stop missing them.
It means you finally stop running from what hurts. 

It looks like naming what’s real.
Letting your body feel what it needs to feel.
Speaking what you’ve been holding back.
It means being honest—without apology. 

And most importantly, healing requires space.
Not silence. Not shame. Not strength.
Just space to let the grief move. 

 

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone 

If this hit home for you, I want you to know you have a place to bring all of it.
No pretending. No tiptoeing. No holding back. 

It’s called Grief Study Hall, and it’s where real grievers come to finally process what they’ve been carrying.
We meet on different days each week.
But the support? Always real. 

You can start here:
https://beacons.ai/thegriefschool 

You don’t need more time.
You need truth.
You need tools.
You need to stop managing your grief and start healing it—for real this time. 

Let’s grieve that shit.
Together.