be·reavement

/bəˈrēvmənt,bēˈrēvmənt/

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noun

  1. the action or condition of being bereaved.

“there is no right way to experience bereavement

Loss- deprivation-dispossession-sorrow-sadness

grief

/ɡrēf/

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noun

  1. deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone’s death.

“she was overcome with grief”

Sorrow-misery-sadness-anguish=pain=distress-agony

The terms grief and bereavement are often used interchangeably.

Grief is the normal process that our hearts experience when there is a loss.   We know that everyone grieves in their own way.  Loss- meaning that something was taken away.  Grief can be experiences for well over 40 or more know losses in our lives.  Death and divorce are just the most popular that people associate with grief.  If we are here on earth, we will have many grieving experiences over our lifetime.

Bereavement is the name of the process our heart goes through when we are negativing our way through this pain.  There is no exact amount of time that bereavement process will take.   Everyone’s relationship to the pain, loneliness and isolation are different.  So, their healing process will depend on them.   We do know that giving a griever the advice to “just give it time”, is misinformation and not very helpful to them.  Answer the following question:  How long does it take to heal from the loss of a loved one?

Answer:  That is up to the griever.  What do know is that it is the action within time that every griever takes that will determine how long you will grieve.

Grievers quiet often get stuck in the bereavement process because they are so overcome with pain, sadness, loneliness causing them to feel extremely isolated.

Mourning

Mourning is the process for how we cope with the brokenness.  For many of us Mourning comes with some family norms and religious principles. Mourning can be done in the form of an action, praying for the dead, wearing black, not attending social events.

Broken hearts grieve.  We humans grieve.  Animals also grieve.  Grief is an experience.  The grieving process has a beginning, middle and an end.  Yes, that is correct when done properly our bereavement time should come to an end.

During your process is the time when you review your relationship to your loved one.  Many times, what happens is that we start to think about all of the things that we wish were better, were different.  Things we wished we would have said, and apology or a forgiveness.  Many times, we just miss them so much we do not know how to get pass the pain.  Grievers that do not slow down long enough to feel all of the feelings of their broken heart can cause themselves years of unnecessary suffering.  We go through grief.

I want to leave you with these final thoughts:

  • Grief will not kill you. Even though it feels like it will
  • You are not broken, and you do not need to be fixed
  • You are human. This pain is a part of your human experience here on earth
  • Grief hurts. This is true.
  • Your grief can never be compared to anyone else grief.
  • Your grief is the price of your love, hate or anger. It all depends on your relationship to the loss.