For the Mother without her Child
This is the last Mother’s Day post Donovan wrote for to me and when it shows up in my FB memories It’s always bittersweet. I miss him so much! Each year that passes holds dreams I will never see him or his bother achieve. I will never see them working in a career they love see them married or having children. The hardest part of their passing is the hole that been left in my soul. They were such good boys with the biggest hearts. Holidays and birthdays are difficult for someone who’s grieving. But, for a Mom who has had to bury a child Mother’s Day is one of the darkest days. It is the constant reminder of your broken heart.
The things that people say to be helpful such as just give it time or focus on the kids you have at home are not helpful. They are hurtful comments. I can remember the first Mother’s Day that I did not have Donovan and this memory post popped up on Facebook. I felt as though I was punched clear through my soul.
There is no time limit on grief. You know that knife that’s stuck in your heart preventing you from living your best life? It can be removed. It is possible to take the steps to mend your broken heart.
There’s so much misinformation out there regarding grief and loss and it’s very overwhelming to find the right kind of help especially when you can barely figure out how you’re going to make it through the day when your heart is in so much pain.
There’s no magic wand out there that will completely erase all of the missing I do for my boys. I would have been a shell of a person no good to myself or my family who were also grieving.
After reading Sharon’s post on: A Mother’s Day without Mom. I loved her ideal for the day. Have a plan.
All I could think of was the grief that the mothers without a child will suffer on Mother’s Day. I wanted to reach out to all my mother’s out there with a special angel in heaven and let you know that my heart is with yours. I do not know what you are going through this Mother’s Day. But I do remember what my broken heart felt like. It was painful.
Do talk about your loved one this year. Do share your special plan with your families and include them in this day. Most importantly remember that you are the mother of a special child.
I am the mother of Donovan and Austin. I do miss them every day. But the most respectful thing that I could do for them was to grieve them properly. I am so happy that I trained and became a Grief Specialist so that I could complete my relationship with my boys. Most importantly I am so honored to walk this path with every mother suffering in their own personal hell.
-Healing Starts with the Heart
Erica Honore, GS