Grief Demands a Seat at the Table

July 7, 2023

Grief isn’t always the best dinner guest, but it demands a seat at the table. Learn why talking about our grief opens us up to healing.

Grief is universal. None of us are exempt from its touch, and yet it is one of the most societally stifled events in our collective experience. We are conditioned to keep our grief private. Grief is hardly the best dinner guest—it is unruly, impolite, and unrefined. It can reflect aspects of ourselves we are afraid to accept: The parts of us that are uncontrollable, inconsolable, and unattractive. 


In spite of our best attempts to keep grief in the shadows, it shows up and demands a seat at the table. Grief searches for expression and acceptance. If we can normalize conversations about our toughest seasons, our healing and recovery have an easier time finding their seat at the table too. 

What Causes Grief?

When we hear the word ‘grief’ we may attribute it to death and loss, but grief comes in dozens of shapes and sizes. Grief is not limited to those experiencing the loss of a loved one, and we can rack up compounded grief throughout so much of our lives before we begin to address it. Many of us can attest to childhood grievances following us well into our adulthood and affecting our relationships, professional lives, and more. Here are some events other than death that can trigger grief responses: 


  • Divorce
  • Break ups
  • Pet loss
  • Financial changes (Increase OR decrease) 
  • Miscarriage
  • Infertility
  • Job loss
  • Adoption
  • Abortion
  • Family trauma
  • Medical Issues
  • Parenting Neurodivergent Children
  • Natural disasters


Grief also plays a foundational role in many mental health related concepts. Words like trauma, PTSD, anxiety, and depression all have roots in grief. This is not to strip you of any valid diagnosis, but to acknowledge that so many of our mental health maladies find life in unaddressed grieving events. 


When we fail to address our grief, it burrows into our bodies and lives on. It grows in secret, giving slow, steady life to our anxieties, insecurities, and depressive seasons. When we bring our grief into the light, we have the opportunity to invite healing into our lives. The only way to move past grief is to move through it. It’s not easy, but it is the work we are called to do in order to move into peace.

Grief is not the best dinner guest, but it demands a seat at the table. Consider facing your grief head on and talking about it in a safe and supported setting with a trusted individual.

Grief Recovery Counseling Can Help

Grief is hard enough on its own to navigate. If you are suffering with grief, we see you, we know you’re hurting, and want to offer you a safe place to share your story and feel supported in your healing journey. Contact us today to set up a free discovery call and spend some time with us – we’re here for you. 


Sharon Brubaker is a certified Life Coach and credentialed Grief Specialist who, along with her team, teaches women who are grieving how to process their thoughts and emotions. To learn more about navigating grief within the family, listen to the full podcast episode here or download my free e-Book, The Griever’s Guide, which equips you with the tools to live life after grief; because no griever should have to navigate a broken heart on their own. 

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