In 2006, I lost Austin. The grief from his loss was beyond belief. I could not breathe and there were days when I didn’t get out of bed. I did not think that I would ever live again.
The Erica from that day is forever gone. I am not sure who she was and now as I think about that day, I know that I am a stronger, funnier, and yes sometimes sadder version of her.
So many people kept telling me to just give it time. But this was not helpful for me. How much time? WOULD giving it time help? I remember hearing that one never gets over the death of one’s child. I was starting to believe that was true. I thought my life would be like this forever….
The truth is that the Erica from June 17, 2006, we will never see her again. I not only had to do my grief work I also have done the much-needed work on the old Erica. You hear Sharon and I say all the time that there are layers to grief. Losing who you once were is a layer of loss my friend. All layers of the grief pain and loss must be grieved for true healing.