Processing the pain from grief means allowing yourself to feel the pain, honestly communicating about how bad it feels and acting. You must be an active participant in your grief and come to your own aide because there is no one out there who can save you. You must be your own hero.
You cannot get over the pain that is a true misconception, you have to go through the pain to get to the other side, which is recovery. As soon as I started to allow myself to feel the pain and the tears to come, I started healing. I also had to tell my truth about how bad I was feeling and not hide from my real feelings.
More importantly you must use your healing tools for the rest of your life. Grief will never be one and done.