Something Horrible Has Happened (And I’m Not Coping)

June 16, 2023

Relentless grief doesn’t have to consume your life. Here are some ways to cope when something terrible happens so you can feel joy again.

A broken heart has so many causes: From deaths to divorces and financial changes to fighting with a loved one. There’s no escaping it—broken hearts happen often, and they happen to everyone. 


Life can shift at any point, and the daily struggles we face can become inundated with overflowing heartbreak in a single moment. Healing a broken heart is an active process that takes work. If you find yourself trapped in a grieving space you can’t get out of, what can you do?


3 Ways To Cope With Grief

The way grief presents itself varies drastically from person to person. Some people cry, while others may stop eating, overeat, lay in bed all day, or become deeply angry. The most important thing you have to do to begin coping with a terrible heartbreak is to begin to process the pain. Here’s how to start. 


  1. Acknowledge that your heart is broken, and that it isn’t your brain or you that’s broken. The heart doesn’t have a reset button—it accumulates and compounds all of your old wounds along with the new ones. This stacking adds up to a lot of hurt. Acknowledging and accepting that you are experiencing a broken heart opens you up to begin processing and healing. Eventually you will have no choice but to acknowledge your pain. Grief will always find a way out. 


  1. Talk about it. People often have trouble verbalizing the awful thing that happened to them. This is because your mind is trying to pacify your heart, doing everything in its power to not make the awful thing real—and saying it out loud cements it as truth. Saying what you are able to say is critical. The freedom to allow your mind and your heart to release a jumble of words helps you to begin organizing and accepting the awful thing. It’s important to pick a listener who is willing to be there without judgment or supplying advice.


  1. Write out what you’re thinking and feeling. If this is too hard you can start by writing your loved one’s name over and over again, or a word that has some sort of significance. Writing things out may come easier to you than having to say them out loud. This step helps both your brain as well as your heart. The two of them are on different journeys.  The brain is on a mission to figure out what’s going on, and writing can help it make sense of the mess. 

Help is Available to You, Griever

Grief is hard enough on its own to navigate. If you are having trouble coping with your emotions, you are not alone. We see you, we know you’re hurting, and want to offer you a safe place to share your story and feel supported in your healing journey. Contact us today to set up a free discovery call and spend some time with us – we’re here for you. 


Sharon Brubaker is a certified Life Coach and credentialed Grief Specialist who, along with her team, teaches women who are grieving how to process their thoughts and emotions. To learn more about navigating grief within the family, listen to the full podcast episode here or download my free e-Book, The Griever’s Guide, which equips you with the tools to live life after grief; because no griever should have to navigate a broken heart on their own. 

Related Articles

You Now Live in the Alternative Universe

Hello, dear listeners, and welcome to another episode of "Healing Starts with the Heart." I'm Sharon, your guide on this journey of understanding and healing from grief. Today's topic is a unique one: feeling like you're living in an 'Alternative Universe' after a...

Loss of Trust in the World and People

Hello, everyone! Welcome back to "Healing Starts with the Heart." I'm your host, Sharon. Today, we're going to explore a tough aspect of grief that many of us face: losing trust in the world and the people around us. When something really big and painful happens, it...

Grievers Have Choices

Hello, everyone! Welcome to another episode of "Healing Starts with the Heart." I'm Sharon, your host, and today we're going to talk about something really important: the choices we have as grievers. Often, when we're grieving, it feels like we have no control over...